Toxic Parenting

It’s no secret that people often use their children to achieve their goals in family court. Despicable, but all too common. Probably the most disturbing dynamic is the parent that tries to gain custody by being a child’s friend or buying the child’s affection through permissiveness or other bribery. While the other parent wants to impose structure, rules and discipline, the subversive parent destroys those constructive attempts to parent.

If the child is younger,  responsible parents can counteract the ploy  since courts  can remedy–or at least contain– this conduct.  But what if the child is 16? Courts are loath to defy a strong-willed adolescent who wants to live with dad or mom,  regardless of  their lousy parenting. And naturally that child, embroiled in adolescent turmoil, craves the more permissive household–not knowing how potentially toxic it may be to their long term welfare.

The parent who successfully gets the child, the so-called  winner (at least in their mind),  achieves their goal at the cost of their child’s welfare.  And there  is little the more responsible parent (or the court) can do. Nefarious conduct is rewarded. One of the truly disturbing dynamics in family court.



Filed under child custody, Parental Alienation, Parenting, Uncategorized

2 responses to “Toxic Parenting

  1. Family guy

    This is SO TRUE AS THERE ARE COUNTLESS STORIES ABOUT ABUSIVE PARENTS GETTING CUSTODY AND THEN YEARS LATER, the child has psychological problems, it’s future relationships are destroyed as they try to act out being the bad parent themselves.

    When will the courts get this..maybe we need more classes and information about this horrible activity on the part of the alienating parent.

  2. This is a very hurtful way to deal with anger; it destroys everyone in the process. The child grows up with such anger and doesn’t even realize where the anger is coming from.

    Over time, as the parent alienates the child from the other “target” parent this same child who loved their parent so so much turns against the targeted parent in an effort to receive attention or unknowingly starts to believe the hurtful lies said. For this child, it may be a way of surviving or trying to please the parent with the unresolved anger.

    This beautiful child should grow up to love both parent equally; as this beautiful gift from God is a true blessing and a part of both parents – a divine miracle who is love and made from the essence of love. There should be no fear in expressing love for both parents. The child caught in the middle probably feels they have no way out. What a sad way for a blessing from God to live. It is a devastating situation and one that needs more attention from the court system.

    I agree training maybe a way to assist the court system, but only when and if they are willing to open up their hearts and understand the deep hurt this is causing everyone.

    Mr. Peskind, I commend and thank you on your efforts to get this information out there. May God bless you always!

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